Why does public speaking scare so many people?

I have told this line more than once….that Public Speaking is the #1 fear that people have, and death is the #7 fear. With that in mind it is apparently true (or at least the way that Jerry Seinfeld the comedian says)…”You mean to tell me that at a funeral the guy in the coffin is happier than the guy giving the eulogy?” Think about that…it should at least bring a smile to your face!
But it is the fear of being judged by our “peers” that cripples so many of us. Being judged that we may be doing something wrong or that we may be making a mistake, or that we WILL make a mistake while presenting and simply freeze after that.
Well that scenario just happened on “Dancing with the stars, when Chynna Phillips, completely forgot several of her next steps. She simply blanked out and even though her partner talked her thru all the next steps….it was obvious she was lost. And it cost her the competition. She let her fear overwhelm her and control her.
Well that is what happens when you let a fear dominate your thoughts!
I know you have heard the acronym breakout of F.E.A.R. – False Expectations Appearing Real – All in the power of your mind. You letting the power of something going wrong….believing it and allowing it to explode in front of you.
Staying focused is really simple and concise. Think of a hunting dog with his owner….his job is to “freeze & point” to what he see’s and not to lose focus!
This can be you when you present. Stay clear, crisp and focused…and confident on your knowledge of the material that you are speaking on.
Stop wallowing in the fear that you cannot speak in public. Join a Toastmasters group and begin to unravel those fears and take control.
Be the winner in the public eye and the private time when you look in the mirror that night and say to yourself…”I really did great today!”
Give yourself the permission to succeed! It really is an addictive power! And you are worth it!

Published in: Uncategorized on October 12, 2011 at 3:13 pm  Leave a Comment  
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The power of having confidence!

As we go thru life, there are several factors that affect our self esteem and confidence. And it can change daily, weekly or monthly. But it is a fact that your confidence will be challenged either professionally or personally.
A loss of confidence can be like a malignancy. It can eat at you and do long term damage, if you allow it. Self Esteem and confidence go hand in hand even though there is a difference between the two.

You have to take an approach of feeling in control, when you temporarily feel that someone has taken it away from you.
What are the circumstances that have just taken place, where you feel less about yourself. Where you in a group setting, where you were judged by your piers? Where you in professional environment and someone made a corrective criticism about something you just did?
Seriously the situations can and do go on and on, if we let them.
You MUST take a step back when you feel “threatened.” You must review what has gone on to cause that feeling. Nobody, but nobody wants to feel left out…ever. You didn’t want to be that kid who was chosen last on the line up for teams. Why?…because it simply made you feel unworthy. Like nobody cared. And that is where you have to take some responsibility for the rejection and find where y6ur strength is. Being judged by other people hurts. And nobody likes that.
I have frequently used with my clients a technique that is called Neural Linguistic Programing (N.L.P.) And this exercise has you taking a deep breath, pressing your thumb to the first finger on your hand and repeating the following sentence.
“I choose to be in control, feeling strong and confident is O.K. with me.” Say this sentence 1 finger at a time with conviction. Take your thumb and go thru your right hand then switch over to your left hand and repeat that sentence as you press your thumb to each finger….repeating it AND meaning it.
Talk it over with someone, if you are stressed by what has been done or said to you. JUST DONT IGNORE AND REPRESS IT…or you will continue to lose your confidence.
Trust me, you will continually have your confidence challenged thru out your life! Choose to take control and feel focused and crisply aware of your talents. Choose to live in the present and focus on the power of you. Just that alone can be a might challenge. No one but no one can live your life fully. You have the control and the choice to believe and accept yourself!
Look in the mirror and realize what a blessing you are in so many simple but necessary ways! My book

Published in: Uncategorized on October 4, 2011 at 5:36 pm  Leave a Comment  
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